Pursuing Life

Photo from Unsplash Divorce can be a painful, toilsome process to go through for anyone. It gets undoubtedly painful when children are involved. Not only does the couple have to sort through who is going to have what, but they must go through the unpleasant experience of finding out who gets full or partial custody of the children. Divorce is not an easy thing to decide or to do. But often after a divorce, many get remarried. "An estimated 69 percent of women and 78 percent of men enter into another union" (Lauer & Lauer, 2011, page 335). These remarriages often occur about three and a half years following the divorce. But this means there are many different situations that someone who has been divorced can get into. There are five different situations in which remarriage happens: single, divorced or widowed with children, divorced or widowed with custody of children, divorced or widowed without custody of children, or divorced or widowed with custody of children

Now I haven’t experienced parenting yet, but I think I have learned some skills this last week that I wanted to share. What I am about to share may not be unfamiliar to you, but they may be a little harder to implement because it goes against what comes naturally to you. So, what are the purposes of parenting? Some people say it is to raise responsible, hardworking individuals in society, by changing the world through the teachings and learning in the home, to bring joy, create a support network, to create a sense of belonging, and to give the best experience to your children to help them achieve their greatest potential. Those who are religious may also add to help them become like God, and disciple training. But one person said (sadly I have forgotten who said it), “[Parenting is] to protect and prepare a child to survive and to thrive in the world they will live in.” To be able to help a child survive and thrive takes a lot of work, it takes active parenting. There are a l

This blog post is specifically set to talk about fathers. The worlds view on fathers is changing drastically, and not in a good way. Fathers are being put down in many places, with people saying that they aren’t needed. I have to say that is simply not true! In this blog I will give you a few things to think about, and I hope that you will spread the good word of fathers to others around you. The things that I will be quoting in my blog today will be coming from an article by Leah East, Debra Jackson, and Louise O’Brien called “Father Absence and Adolescent Development: A Review of the Literature.” This article does a review on multiple different studies on the absence of fathers in the home. I will point out five things that I found interesting and give my thoughts on the research. “…adolescents who experienced father absence had lower self-esteem, engaged in sexual activity at an early age and had lower general achievements compared to adolescents of intact dyadic familie

Life is full of things that can cause problems in a relationship, but when couples decide to go into counseling what is the most common subject/topic that they bring up to their counselor? It is communication. Communication has a few things attached to it. There are underlying causes, some people just aren’t sure how to communicate, and sometimes there is more speaking than listening. Although there are many things that can drive couples to find help for their relationship, communication is a big part.   Now the question is, why would that be the case? Here’s a little diagram that shows a simple explanation as to what is happening when we are trying to communicate. Those who are speaking with each other have thoughts and feelings that they want to express, so in their process of figuring out what they are going to say is shown with “encode.” They then select a type of media they want to use to express these thoughts (examples of media are words, text, video chat, email/ma

Marriage is meant to be sacred, cared for, and cherished. The world today has changed our view of what marriage is really like. Television, movies, and media have distorted people’s idea of marriage and relationships in general, especially the sacred and loving act of sex. Which I believe should be done only after marriage. Sex is a moment where a husband and wife connect with each other in such a way that is impossible for them to share with anyone else. They become so close emotionally (and physically) that they feel like one person. It is an opportunity for them, if treated sacredly and special, to have generosity towards each other. In 1 Corinthians 7: 1-6, Paul talks about having “due benevolence”. But what does benevolence mean? It could mean respect, kindness, and grace, but it really means generosity. So why does Paul talk about being generous to one’s spouse? A husband and wife should be willing to give of themselves for their spouse. If this act is done just for sel

What are your first thoughts when you think of a wedding? Do you think about flowers, cake, and invitations? Do you get all giddy when you think about everything incorporated with a wedding? If you do, you’re surely not the only one. Weddings are very exciting, and a great opportunity to support the new couple and cheer them on for their future. But have you ever thought about the hassle and trouble that weddings can actually bring to a family? Well, if you haven’t, I’m going to tell you. Weddings aren’t as whimsical as they may seem. There is a lot of time, effort, and money that goes into creating the “perfect day.” The average cost of an American wedding today is around $27,000. Where is this money going to come from? Some may have these finances in their savings, but often times it is the parent’s that pay the price. Do you think some problems could arise from this happening? There sure can be. Although parents won’t say that they want the money to be repaid, they usually

Today’s culture has ruined dating. Today many just hang out, but what does that really mean? Hanging out is often just media/killing time. Where are the relationships being built? Some argue that these times of “hanging out” lets them get to know a person better because they’re just being themselves, but is this honestly true? When I think about the times where I was just “hanging out” I found myself not really interacting with many guys. There were so many girls and guys in the group that there were too many people to compete with. I often found it harder to approach a guy because there were other people who were competing for his attention, whether that was other girls or some of his friends. When we are competing with more people, we tend to back off and stick with the people we know. Does that sound like any relationships are growing? Not many in my opinion. I often think back to the dates my grandma used to tell me about. Her dates sounded so much fun, but they were also

Sometimes being different can be hard, but have you really taken the time to notice how amazing differences can be? Imagine if every flower smelled and looked the same, if every bird sang the same song, or every kitchen utensil only did one thing. Wouldn’t that be a little annoying or frustrating? Now I’m not just talking about the different ways we look, or what our personalities are like. I’m talking about the differences between genders. Jenn Evelyn Ann on Unsplash There is a lot of turmoil right now between gender differences. There are some things that I agree with, and others I don’t. But I don’t want to stir up contention in this post; I just want to point out how amazing it is to be male or female! There was a study done with children of different genders and what toys they naturally picked. The study focused on children from the ages 9-17 months, 18-23 months, and 24 to 32 months. The study found that these children, independently playing without the presence

We are surrounded by things that are different; old and new, tall and short, male and female. It is a thing that happens naturally. Differences allow us to see from different points of view, cherishing what is uncommon. Unfortunately, there is a difference in socioeconomic status where there are lower, middle, and upper classes. The differences in these classes are usually determined by money, occupation, appearance, possessions, education, and a few other things. This status has caused us to look down at some and envy others. We don’t realize that it doesn’t matter at which end of the scale someone is, we end up with the same outcomes. If we focus on two extremes of the socioeconomic status, lower and upper, we will see very similar outcomes with their families. When coming from a lower class there is usually a single parent in a home. This parent is the sole provider for the family and often must work long hours to make ends meet. This leaves their children with no structure, n

Recently I have been learning about different kinds of theories that are used to try and explain why families are the way they are. There are four that are commonly used. There is Conflict Theory, Systems Theory, Exchange Theory, and Symbolic Theory. Each one is unique, and there is no right theory to determine why a family is the way it is. Families usually experience a bit of each one in their own homes. But the one I want to focus on is Systems Theory. Photo by John-Mark Smith on Unsplash Imagine for a moment your current family. Who is the peacemaker in the home? Who does everyone go to for relationship advice? Financial advice? To talk about drama? Were there unwritten rules in your home? Now, why do you think your family was this way? Every family will be different because every member takes on different roles and have different rules. These roles and rules create a system which contains subsystems (e.g. spousal, parental, siblings). For example, in my home the

Family Trends Life seems to be getting more complicated and confusing. Every day there is something new that’s hard to believe would ever happen. One of those things that I would like to talk about is the dropping numbers of total fertility rates around the world. I grew up in a family where I had two older half-siblings and two younger biological sisters. I really enjoyed having that many siblings. We all grew up experiencing different stages of life together. And although I did have some quarrels with my siblings earlier in life, I am now amazing friends with them. But in today's world, families are getting smaller. Photo by Jeff Sheldon on Unsplash Right now, in the United States alone, we have a TFR (Total Fertility Rate) of 1.80. If these numbers keep going down, we’re going to see some changes we didn’t expect. One of these changes that I found interesting is that many of those who are from the Baby Boom era are beginning to retire and downsize their home

NEW BEGINNINGS Being new to this blogging world, I would like to introduce myself! I am Kyra Thompson. I grew up in a small town in northern Utah called Plymouth. Most people say they've seen a sign for it, but often times it's one of those places that if you blink, you miss it! I have a wonderfully, crazy family! I have an older half-brother and half-sister along with two biological sisters! So depending on who you ask, I'm either the middle child or the oldest. I claim both! I also want to point out that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I grew up in the church and was baptized at eight. As the years went by I then chose to serve as a missionary (or volunteer if you don't recognize the term) for a year and a half in Upstate New York. I learned so much while I was there and met some extraordinary people. It is a time I will never forget. Now to move forward a few years when I met the handsome guy in the photo above! This is my