Dating

Today’s culture has ruined dating. Today many just hang out, but what does that really mean? Hanging out is often just media/killing time. Where are the relationships being built? Some argue that these times of “hanging out” lets them get to know a person better because they’re just being themselves, but is this honestly true?

When I think about the times where I was just “hanging out” I found myself not really interacting with many guys. There were so many girls and guys in the group that there were too many people to compete with. I often found it harder to approach a guy because there were other people who were competing for his attention, whether that was other girls or some of his friends. When we are competing with more people, we tend to back off and stick with the people we know. Does that sound like any relationships are growing? Not many in my opinion.

I often think back to the dates my grandma used to tell me about. Her dates sounded so much fun, but they were also very simple. People were creative when it came to their dating. My grandma once said that she had a date in a horse trailer (cleaned up of course) with a small table and a nice meal prepared. How many people would think about that kind of thing today?

Picnic Tale - photo "What to Bring on a Picnic Date"

Dates don’t need to be spectacularly expensive to be a good date. Sometimes when we spend too much money, it may give off the impression that we want to be in a serious relationship, and many people aren’t in that place in their lives yet. Sometimes the simpler they are, the more fun and spontaneous it can be.

I remember a date in high school that was inexpensive and fun. It was for a girl’s choice dance. I got creative asking my date out, but I’ll skip this little part of the story. My friends and sister created a small group date. We decided we would separate for a short time with our dates before meeting together later in the day. We got some cheap cotton shirts and decorated them with sharpies and then came back together for pizza and dancing. It was a simple date, but we got to spend time separately with our dates and then come together for some group fun.

Dating doesn’t have to be hard. There are three things to dating that would be helpful to remember 1) it should be planned 2) it must be paid for 3) it must be paired (the person should know clearly who they are going with). These three simple things will help figure out what a date should be like.

We need to be more proactive in our dating and be okay with rejection. If we’re too scared of getting hurt, it will keep us from having some of the most fun times in our lives. Be okay if the person you ask says no. A person doesn’t define who you are, only you can do that. Don’t expect a date to instantly declare you and your date as a couple, let them know that the date is noncommittal and just fun. When we date more people, we begin to see what we’re looking for in a companion we will want to marry. Variety is good. Dating is good.

If we can change back our culture to good dating habits, I believe that people would be more open to talking to others and be happier. The only thing that can change this way of dating is through you. And as you encourage others to do it, it will become a domino effect and spread way further than you could imagine.