Marriage and Intimacy


Marriage is meant to be sacred, cared for, and cherished. The world today has changed our view of what marriage is really like. Television, movies, and media have distorted people’s idea of marriage and relationships in general, especially the sacred and loving act of sex. Which I believe should be done only after marriage.

Sex is a moment where a husband and wife connect with each other in such a way that is impossible for them to share with anyone else. They become so close emotionally (and physically) that they feel like one person. It is an opportunity for them, if treated sacredly and special, to have generosity towards each other.

In 1 Corinthians 7: 1-6, Paul talks about having “due benevolence”. But what does benevolence mean? It could mean respect, kindness, and grace, but it really means generosity. So why does Paul talk about being generous to one’s spouse? A husband and wife should be willing to give of themselves for their spouse. If this act is done just for selfish reasons, either one will only be satisfied, or no one will be. When the husband generously gives to his wife, and the wife generously gives to her husband, they are no longer thinking of themselves. It is allowing them to serve each other and grow closer together. Unfortunately, we don’t see much of that in the world, do we?

Becoming intimate with another person is a step that can be incredibly fulfilling, or greatly dissatisfying. Depending on the steps someone takes to get to know a person will determine which outcome they will get. If we look at the Relationship Attachment Model, we can see a diagram that shows us the important way of building a relationship in the right order. Before anyone should get to the intimacy of touch they should first know, trust, rely, and be committed to the person they are dating. Because of the misconceptions wrapped around sex and relationships, many people are getting hurt. Many people are skipping the important steps needed before physical intimacy and jumping straight to it.

Now that I’ve talked a little bit about marriage and sex, I want to go into the relationship of the husband and wife. This union of a husband and wife is sacred and needs to be safeguarded as such. What would you do with something you cherished so deeply? Wouldn’t you want to keep it safe? Make sure that it’s been taken care of? Sometimes people don’t safeguard their marriages like they should.

Couples need to be cautious of what situations they are putting themselves into. Image yourself married to someone you deeply cherish and love, but you’re going through a rough patch. It’s a difficult time, and while you’re at work you begin to discuss the problems you’re facing with your spouse to a co-worker of the opposite-sex. What do you think is happening there? Why are you discussing your problems with them and not your spouse? Do you think there is an attachment that is being created because you’re opening up like that?

Imagine again being at work and now you have to ride in the car with only you and another co-worker of the opposite-sex. Do you think the same things could be happening here as the example from before? Yes. When we are not actively aware of the dangers surrounding our marriages, we are not taking the steps needed to protect them.

There is a Heavenly Father that loves us so much and wants us to be safe and happy. If we truly work for our marriages and the love created in them, we will be happy and safe.

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