Family Systems

Family Trends

Life seems to be getting more complicated and confusing. Every day there is something new that’s hard to believe would ever happen. One of those things that I would like to talk about is the dropping numbers of total fertility rates around the world.

I grew up in a family where I had two older half-siblings and two younger biological sisters. I really enjoyed having that many siblings. We all grew up experiencing different stages of life together. And although I did have some quarrels with my siblings earlier in life, I am now amazing friends with them. But in today's world, families are getting smaller.

Photo by Jeff Sheldon on Unsplash

Right now, in the United States alone, we have a TFR (Total Fertility Rate) of 1.80. If these numbers keep going down, we’re going to see some changes we didn’t expect. One of these changes that I found interesting is that many of those who are from the Baby Boom era are beginning to retire and downsize their homes. If families continue to get smaller, they won’t need homes as big as the ones on the market. There will be a housing decline.

I also have to say that a lot of people are also focusing on themselves. They want to accomplish their own goals, whether that be with careers, travel, or other endeavors. But if we truly want to become better, having children and growing families is a great way to go. We have the potential to make the future better!

In some places the government has even created “bounties” to encourage the people to have more children. Some offer so much money per child, and even have elected to pay for medical costs. But these bounties haven’t been working. The problems of building families go deeper than just financial worries. One of the things that has caused this is the worry that a given person can’t create a stable family, especially if they came from a dysfunctional home where divorce or abuse occurred. I believe that in order to help encourage people to build families we must educate them on ways to strengthen families and to start them.

One of the things we should begin to teach people is about the facts surrounding cohabitation. People usually cohabitate as a “trial run” to see if they could make it if they got married. This makes people less committed. If they aren’t sure if its going to work out, they don’t want to put in the effort to make it succeed. This allows them the chance to get away if things get too hard. Additionally, people who cohabitate before marriage are statistically more likely to get a divorce than those that don’t. Those who get engaged and then cohabitate or never cohabitate have a higher chance of a successful marriage. But it comes down to what you are willing to fight to keep.

Photo by Joshua Reddekopp on Unsplash

Cohabitation is convenient for parents, but it is unfortunate for the children of those parents. For one, if the parents do end up parting ways, issues of “who gets the kids?” and “how many more partners will the kids have to adjust to?” rise. Single mothers who end up either remarrying see their kids have a much higher percentage of being abused by stepfathers. If this is any indicator, children in separated cohabiting homes could have the same outcome.

What can we do to increase the strength of the family in our communities? Advocating for local programs that focus on the family and relationships is a good step. To add on to that, sharing positive family-centered messages on your social media circles is a good way to spread awareness in your friend groups. This could be things like “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” which focuses solely on the strengthening of families, or quotes from the prophets. These little steps allow us to make a difference, even if it’s a small one.