Weddings


What are your first thoughts when you think of a wedding? Do you think about flowers, cake, and invitations? Do you get all giddy when you think about everything incorporated with a wedding? If you do, you’re surely not the only one. Weddings are very exciting, and a great opportunity to support the new couple and cheer them on for their future. But have you ever thought about the hassle and trouble that weddings can actually bring to a family? Well, if you haven’t, I’m going to tell you.

Weddings aren’t as whimsical as they may seem. There is a lot of time, effort, and money that goes into creating the “perfect day.” The average cost of an American wedding today is around $27,000. Where is this money going to come from? Some may have these finances in their savings, but often times it is the parent’s that pay the price. Do you think some problems could arise from this happening? There sure can be.

Although parents won’t say that they want the money to be repaid, they usually do. That’s a lot of money that’s coming straight out of their pockets, which can create some significant financial stress on them. Mom’s who end up paying for their daughter’s wedding will often try to make choices against the brides wishes, or strongly suggest changes to be made to things that the mother does not agree with. This kind of micromanaging and forcefulness can cause a great strain on the couple’s relationships with their parents.

Another thing that often happens while planning the wedding is the groom is often left out of decisions, opinions not taken, or they just don’t honestly care what is done. But when this happens, the couple isn’t learning to problem solve or to decide on things together. A wedding is a great opportunity for a couple to come together and make decisions and learn to solve problems. When the bride and groom are not working together, they are not growing closer together. This is a chance to learn more about each other.

I have to say though, that not every wedding has these kinds of problems. I’ll use my wedding for an example. My wedding was planned ahead of time by my parents. They had put aside money for every child for their future wedding. My parents didn’t expect any of it back. My mom had even told me that I could have the option of having a very simple wedding and keeping the rest to help with finances. I opted for the wedding though (and part of me feels that either option would have worked out for me and my husband). I made sure to stay within the budget that was allotted me and had many family members help out along the way.

Photo by Chelsea Jessop Photography
My sister was getting into making decorative cakes around the time I was going to get married, and she was more than helpful when she accepted to make our cake. They turned out so beautifully, and I was so grateful
for her newfound passion. I also had a grandpa who was (and still is) amazing with woodwork and he made us a beautiful backdrop for the reception. My husband had an aunt as well who worked at a bakery who made cookies favors for our guests to take home.

Photo by Chelsea Jessop Photography
My husband and I had brought both sides of our family together to create such a wonderfully, cherished day. It was not just a day to celebrate our marriage, but to celebrate a joining of two families. The help we received during our wedding allowed my husband and I to continue the growth of our relationship. I am so grateful that we had a chance to grow together through planning our wedding and working through problems that showed up along the way. To this day our relationship continues to grow and become better.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Family Systems

Image
Recently I have been learning about different kinds of theories that are used to try and explain why families are the way they are. There are four that are commonly used. There is Conflict Theory, Systems Theory, Exchange Theory, and Symbolic Theory. Each one is unique, and there is no right theory to determine why a family is the way it is. Families usually experience a bit of each one in their own homes. But the one I want to focus on is Systems Theory. Photo by John-Mark Smith on Unsplash Imagine for a moment your current family. Who is the peacemaker in the home? Who does everyone go to for relationship advice? Financial advice? To talk about drama? Were there unwritten rules in your home? Now, why do you think your family was this way? Every family will be different because every member takes on different roles and have different rules. These roles and rules create a system which contains subsystems (e.g. spousal, parental, siblings). For example, in my home the...
Read more
Image
NEW BEGINNINGS Being new to this blogging world, I would like to introduce myself! I am Kyra Thompson. I grew up in a small town in northern Utah called Plymouth. Most people say they've seen a sign for it, but often times it's one of those places that if you blink, you miss it! I have a wonderfully, crazy family! I have an older half-brother and half-sister along with two biological sisters! So depending on who you ask, I'm either the middle child or the oldest. I claim both! I also want to point out that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I grew up in the church and was baptized at eight. As the years went by I then chose to serve as a missionary (or volunteer if you don't recognize the term) for a year and a half in Upstate New York. I learned so much while I was there and met some extraordinary people. It is a time I will never forget. Now to move forward a few years when I met the handsome guy in the photo above! This is my...
Read more

Dating

Image
Today’s culture has ruined dating. Today many just hang out, but what does that really mean? Hanging out is often just media/killing time. Where are the relationships being built? Some argue that these times of “hanging out” lets them get to know a person better because they’re just being themselves, but is this honestly true? When I think about the times where I was just “hanging out” I found myself not really interacting with many guys. There were so many girls and guys in the group that there were too many people to compete with. I often found it harder to approach a guy because there were other people who were competing for his attention, whether that was other girls or some of his friends. When we are competing with more people, we tend to back off and stick with the people we know. Does that sound like any relationships are growing? Not many in my opinion. I often think back to the dates my grandma used to tell me about. Her dates sounded so much fun, but they were also...
Read more