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Divorce and Remarriage

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Photo from Unsplash Divorce can be a painful, toilsome process to go through for anyone. It gets undoubtedly painful when children are involved. Not only does the couple have to sort through who is going to have what, but they must go through the unpleasant experience of finding out who gets full or partial custody of the children. Divorce is not an easy thing to decide or to do. But often after a divorce, many get remarried. "An estimated 69 percent of women and 78 percent of men enter into another union" (Lauer & Lauer, 2011, page 335). These remarriages often occur about three and a half years following the divorce. But this means there are many different situations that someone who has been divorced can get into. There are five different situations in which remarriage happens: single, divorced or widowed with children, divorced or widowed with custody of children, divorced or widowed without custody of children, or divorced or widowed with custody of children

Parenting

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Now I haven’t experienced parenting yet, but I think I have learned some skills this last week that I wanted to share. What I am about to share may not be unfamiliar to you, but they may be a little harder to implement because it goes against what comes naturally to you. So, what are the purposes of parenting? Some people say it is to raise responsible, hardworking individuals in society, by changing the world through the teachings and learning in the home, to bring joy, create a support network, to create a sense of belonging, and to give the best experience to your children to help them achieve their greatest potential. Those who are religious may also add to help them become like God, and disciple training. But one person said (sadly I have forgotten who said it), “[Parenting is] to protect and prepare a child to survive and to thrive in the world they will live in.” To be able to help a child survive and thrive takes a lot of work, it takes active parenting. There are a l

Fathers

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This blog post is specifically set to talk about fathers. The worlds view on fathers is changing drastically, and not in a good way. Fathers are being put down in many places, with people saying that they aren’t needed. I have to say that is simply not true! In this blog I will give you a few things to think about, and I hope that you will spread the good word of fathers to others around you. The things that I will be quoting in my blog today will be coming from an article by Leah East, Debra Jackson, and Louise O’Brien called “Father Absence and Adolescent Development: A Review of the Literature.” This article does a review on multiple different studies on the absence of fathers in the home. I will point out five things that I found interesting and give my thoughts on the research. “…adolescents who experienced father absence had lower self-esteem, engaged in sexual activity at an early age and had lower general achievements compared to adolescents of intact dyadic familie

Communication

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Life is full of things that can cause problems in a relationship, but when couples decide to go into counseling what is the most common subject/topic that they bring up to their counselor? It is communication. Communication has a few things attached to it. There are underlying causes, some people just aren’t sure how to communicate, and sometimes there is more speaking than listening. Although there are many things that can drive couples to find help for their relationship, communication is a big part.   Now the question is, why would that be the case? Here’s a little diagram that shows a simple explanation as to what is happening when we are trying to communicate. Those who are speaking with each other have thoughts and feelings that they want to express, so in their process of figuring out what they are going to say is shown with “encode.” They then select a type of media they want to use to express these thoughts (examples of media are words, text, video chat, email/ma

Marriage and Intimacy

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Marriage is meant to be sacred, cared for, and cherished. The world today has changed our view of what marriage is really like. Television, movies, and media have distorted people’s idea of marriage and relationships in general, especially the sacred and loving act of sex. Which I believe should be done only after marriage. Sex is a moment where a husband and wife connect with each other in such a way that is impossible for them to share with anyone else. They become so close emotionally (and physically) that they feel like one person. It is an opportunity for them, if treated sacredly and special, to have generosity towards each other. In 1 Corinthians 7: 1-6, Paul talks about having “due benevolence”. But what does benevolence mean? It could mean respect, kindness, and grace, but it really means generosity. So why does Paul talk about being generous to one’s spouse? A husband and wife should be willing to give of themselves for their spouse. If this act is done just for sel

Weddings

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What are your first thoughts when you think of a wedding? Do you think about flowers, cake, and invitations? Do you get all giddy when you think about everything incorporated with a wedding? If you do, you’re surely not the only one. Weddings are very exciting, and a great opportunity to support the new couple and cheer them on for their future. But have you ever thought about the hassle and trouble that weddings can actually bring to a family? Well, if you haven’t, I’m going to tell you. Weddings aren’t as whimsical as they may seem. There is a lot of time, effort, and money that goes into creating the “perfect day.” The average cost of an American wedding today is around $27,000. Where is this money going to come from? Some may have these finances in their savings, but often times it is the parent’s that pay the price. Do you think some problems could arise from this happening? There sure can be. Although parents won’t say that they want the money to be repaid, they usually

Dating

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Today’s culture has ruined dating. Today many just hang out, but what does that really mean? Hanging out is often just media/killing time. Where are the relationships being built? Some argue that these times of “hanging out” lets them get to know a person better because they’re just being themselves, but is this honestly true? When I think about the times where I was just “hanging out” I found myself not really interacting with many guys. There were so many girls and guys in the group that there were too many people to compete with. I often found it harder to approach a guy because there were other people who were competing for his attention, whether that was other girls or some of his friends. When we are competing with more people, we tend to back off and stick with the people we know. Does that sound like any relationships are growing? Not many in my opinion. I often think back to the dates my grandma used to tell me about. Her dates sounded so much fun, but they were also